Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Reasons not to do "IT"

Because of the internet, hooking up with like-minded people is no longer a problem. However, half of the people on the net, it seems, assume that you're there looking for some casual something-something.

And then there are those scenarios where you, woman, are starting to like this guy and you've established some sort of sexual chemistry with him but you're not sure if you really want to go knocking boots with him already.

So, if you're going on a date anytime soon, imaginatively give yourself reasons not to do IT.

1) Make it a foursome, instead of an intimate date between the two of you.

2) Will yourself to keep your legs un-spread.

3) Make plans with close friends to keep texting and calling you during the date to remind you to keep your pants on... literally.

4) Wear your old, worn, tattered, grandma undies.

5) Do not shave/trim the hair on your legs, nether regions, armpits, etc.

6) Eat something uber spicy, onion-y, garlic-y during dinner so you'l keep burping and be self-conscious about your breath.

7) Discuss hemorrhoids and the most effective colon cleanser that you know.

8) Don't let the conversation get intimate, steer clear of sexual histories and get to know more of him non-horizontally.

9) Be empowered to say NO :)

Can you think of other creative ways to avoid getting yourself in carnal situations? :)


Unknown said...

hahaha!! unspread? natawa ako dun :D


Romesez said...

How about talk about having a constipation.Bring one of those tine pantyliners, spread (ups, sorry for the term he he he) a tiny amount of catsup over it and pretend that you accidentally exposed it to him. (But, be extra careful, make sure your date is not a dog. Otherwise, the more that you endangered yourself). he he he. Bring with you an amount of dried glue, Something like that of a booger texture. Ahhh basta, keep your legs crossed all the time.

Grass said...

or pretend to be the most perplexed, dejected character. and look petrified too! it would help to put on goth make-up for that realistic appeal.

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